A few weeks back when Bill Simmons wrote this article (basically comparing the ‘07 Pats to the ‘86 Celtics), I had a conversation with my buddy that went something like this:

Me: You see Simmons jinx the Pats?

My Buddy: No, wha… oh yeah, the ‘86 Celtics article?

Me: Is he on f@#%ing crack?! Has every Boston sports fan lost their mind?!

My Buddy: Damn man. (classic subdued response)

I guess this is what you get when you root with Beantown.

Plaxico Burress tried to drop some knowledge on the naysayers earlier this week, but there are still individuals out there (basically the entire world) who are shocked by the outcome of Supe XLII. However, if you’ve been watching the playoffs closely, this shouldn’t be all that surprising. The Giants have played the same type of game throughout the playoffs: they beat up the opposing quarterback, controlled the line of scrimmage on both sides of the ball, rammed the football down the opponent’s throat, and converted time-and-again in key passing situations. I would love to see pictures of Tom Brady on TMZ tomorrow because with the way he got hit in that game, Giselle might be the one bringing the flowers this time. Look on the bright side, New England fans– at least you can take pride in the Pats being the greatest team ever NOT to win the Super Bowl (ha!).

Congrats to the Giants for doing the unthinkable (I’ll let MFH and Chuck Wipple handle all the pro G-men ranting from here). I’m trying hard to find a silver lining in all this. Maybe I found it: for one, at least I got to see arguably the greatest Supe ever played (somehow I doubt this’ll make a difference to us Pats fans), and secondly– if this is a portent of things to come in the Boston/New York rivalry, then so be it. Let’s go Yankees!!! 10 days until Pitchers & Catchers…

Time to go clean up the all the mangled furniture and the two… maybe three (I still can’t remember what that collection of shredded plastic in the corner used to be) broken remotes…

I take my job seriously here at Subway Chatter, and because of that I just can’t let you all go off like lambs to the slaughter when you can’t pay off all the gambling debts you accrue after following MFH’s advice. But first, some thoughts on the other big news of the day (for those of you who still follow the NBA), the Pau Gasol deal. This instantly makes the Lakeshow the West’s top team, but not for the reason many of you probably think. I agree that just by acquiring Gasol, the Lakers have now vaulted themselves into top-three status in the Western Conference– they were right there when stud center Andrew Bynum went down with a knee injury, and Gasol will capably fill his shoes until his return in late February. The bigger development, though, is that the Lakers’ now have to be considered the frontrunners to land Jason Kidd. With Gasol in L.A., Lamar Odom will be forced to play out of position when Bynum eventually returns, and this surplus of big men gives the Lakers the flexibility to trade the talented forward– who Nets’ Prez Rod Thorn has always coveted– for the play-making point guard needed to take the ball-handling burdens off Kobe Bryant. The Lakers, as currently comprised, are championship contenders even without Kidd, but if they get him, you’d have to think the Larry O’Brien Trophy is theirs to lose.

Alright, now on to something you all actually care about– Super Sunday. MFH threw out a pretty convincing argument for why the Giants should be able to keep this thing close and cover the spread. Only problem is– I’m not buying it… and neither should you. Here’s why…

1) Eli Manning is still Eli Manning: I know he has played great by just getting the Giants this far, but everyone seems to forget that this is the same guy who Giant fans wanted dangling from the other end of a concrete slab at the bottom of the East River just two months ago. A buddy of mine was convinced that the Giants could beat the Packers simply because, at some point, Brett Favre had to revert to being, well, Brett Favre. Eli’s not even one of the greatest QBs of the last 20 years, so I’m thinking this rule of thumb has to be applicable to him as well. And don’t forget this either– his own GM called him “skittish.” Something tells me the real Eli– or the “Eli-of-old,” if you want to give him the benefit of the doubt– is lurking somewhere under the surface. One bad drive in the biggest game of his life, and it could be all down hill from there.

2) The Hoodie: If recent history is any indicator, having to play Bill Belichick for the second time in the same season (this will actually be the third time for the Giants if you include their preseason matchup) just doesn’t work out too well for the opposition. It’s not lost on me that the Giants played the Pats tooth and nail in their Week 17 barn-burner, but (and bear with me here) I’m guessing the Hoodie incorporated maybe HALF of his typical formations and play calls in that game in anticipation of a Super Bowl rematch. I know that sounds crazy considering NO ONE thought the Giants would be making the trip to Glendale, but that’s why we’re all just pundits, and the Hoodie is the mad genius of professional football. Come Sunday, the Giants will be seeing formations they never even thought existed. That’s precisely what makes the Patriots so dominant– very rarely do you see the same “team,” or at least have a chance to attack the same game plan, when you face them the second time. Couple this with a fast track on Sunday, and the Pats are set up to return to their early-season blowout form.

3) Plaxico’s prediction: These kinds of things almost always come back to bite the prediction-maker in the ass, which is why Coach Coughlin had such a visceral reaction to it. And apart from the obvious distinctions, Plaxico Burress just doesn’t strike me as a “Mark-Messier-in-waiting.”

4) This could be you on Monday morning if you put money on the G-men:

My advice in a nutshell: pick the Pats. If you’re a Giants fan, and would rather cut off your left whatever than do that, then put the money towards pizza, wings, and beverages this Sunday instead.

Many of you have been anxiously awaiting my pick for the Super Bowl, and with good reason. It is true that I ended the season with a nice profit from betting on the NFL. It is also true that I am 8-2 against the spread in the 2008 NFL playoffs. I must warn you, however, this may not be the ideal game to bet based on my pick, and here’s why: My friend Moose bet the same way I did. What’s wrong with that, you ask? You know how you have that friend that always seems to pick losers? You know, the guy who your other friends joke they should bet against on every pick and they’d make money? Well that guy would be considered extremely lucky when compared to Moose. He is the WORST at picking sports. People have actually made fortunes betting against his picks. Most people think Warren Buffet made his fortune investing in the stock market. What they don’t realize is that he made the majority of his riches calling up Moose, asking for a pick, and then betting the other way. True story. Moose is 0-5 betting the last 5 Super Bowls. Moose bet on Ohio St. in last year’s College Football National Championship game (I, thankfully, bet heavy on Florida). If that wasn’t enough, Moose bet Ohio St. again this year (again, I was on the other side). Moose is so bad, he picked the Red Sox to win the World Series in every year since his birth EXCEPT 2004 and 2007. Moose picked against Rocky in Rocky’s 2-5, even guaranteeing that Ivan Drago would knock out the Italian Stallion before the 10th round. Moose picked the Russians to beat the US, not in the actual 1980 Olympics, but in the movie “Miracle”. (ok, so maybe those last few are exaggerations, but I’m trying to hammer home the point that he is TERRIBLE at picking sports winners.)

So now, with that background to caution you against putting junior’s college tuition behind my expertise, I present you with MFH’s Super Bowl XLII pick:

Giants +11 ½
Here’s what you have to like as a Giants fan: the momentum Big Blue is riding into this Super Bowl is a big plus. I’ve heard it argued that the Patriots are riding momentum at least as strong because they’ve won 18 in a row. But, they were expected to win every one of those games; they were expected to coast to the Supe and just meeting expectations doesn’t build momentum in my book. Nobody thought the Giants would make any noise in the playoffs. In fact, they were heavy underdogs in their last two games. Winning games like THAT is what builds momentum, so the “Mo” edge has to go to the Giants. Another thing you have to like as far as the spread goes is what I’m going to call the “Power of 3.” The Pats have won three Super Bowls. They beat the Rams by 3. They beat the Panthers as heavy favorites by just 3. Most recently they beat the Eagles by…3. Anyone see a pattern developing here? In week 17 these same two teams battled it out in the most exciting week 17 game that didn’t have any playoff implications in the history of the NFL. In the end the Patriots squeaked one out. Who can tell me how many points the Patriots won that game by? Anyone? Bueller? That’s right, 3 points. It seems to me there’re some strong forces pushing this game towards a 3 point spread. By the way (and here’s another force), there are a lot of similarities between this Giants team and the Panthers team that lost by 3 to the Patriots in 2004. Both teams came in under the radar as surprise Super Bowl participants. Both quarterbacks have been questioned throughout the season but stepped up big time in the playoffs. Both teams have very solid defenses. And now, as the Panthers were in 2004, the Giants are double digit underdogs to the invincible Patriots. I don’t see why so many people think this game won’t be close. As referenced above, these two teams played each other just five weeks ago and the game was decided by a measly three points. Anyone who watched that game knows the score was no fluke. The Giants were not lucky to be in the game. Instead, they played as the Patriots’ equals. In fact, if not for a questionable-at-best illegal contact call on Corey Webster, the Giants most likely win that game. And few people will argue the fact that the Giants are better now than they were in week 17. Ahmad Bradshaw has really come into his own as a great compliment to Brandon Jacobs, Eli is playing like a real quarterback, and Plaxico just got done embarrassing one of the best corners in the league— Al Harris— in the NFC Championship. Add to that the fact that the Patriots have failed to cover in 8 of their last 9 games and you have to like the Giants to keep this thing in single digits.

Pretty convincing argument right? Well before you sell all your possessions and put the money down on the Giants, be warned: I was still feeling pretty good about my pick until I received terrible news, about the worst news one could get after making a bet. My friend J-Bomb GUARANTEED the Giants would cover the spread, and also picked them to win straight up. If you are new to the site, you may be wondering why this is such horrendous news. Let me fill you in: J-Bomb is the KISS OF DEATH when it comes to betting. When the Bills almost pulled off the upset over the Cowboys on Monday night in week 5 (and covered easily) guess who bet the Cowboys (and because of that my friend Franchise and I picked up a nice score in that game). Every horse he has ever bet on at the track has failed to win, and as Franchise puts it, most are still running! Moose is just bad at picking sports, much of the time I’m on the other side of his picks anyway, once in a while he can get lucky, so although his bet didn’t make me happy, it didn’t make me give up all hope like J-Bomb’s guarantee did. A bet from J-Bomb dooms any team in any sport to failure. In fact, I’m pretty sure J-Bomb bet Oklahoma in last year’s Fiesta Bowl against Boise State, and rumor has it he bet Georgetown heavy in 1985 against Villanova, despite being only three years old. Next year I may introduce the “J-Bomb predictor” to my NFL betting column because it is uncanny how accurate this predictor really is. So congratulations Patriots fans, enjoy the celebration. So Giants fans, if this game plays out similar to the Giants’ last Super Bowl appearance in 2001, I’ll give out J-Bomb’s email address so you can properly direct your anger and frustration.

Questions and comments can be emailed to mfh@subwaychatter.com, or just post ‘em below

These last two weeks have proved that the media plays just as big a part in the Super Bowl hoopla as the game itself. And while the NFL’s season will come to an end Sunday, that hardly means the media blitz will end there. Writers across the country will spend the better part of late Sunday night trying to come up with catchy phrases to throw on the backpages. We here at Subway Chatter offer up a few ideas about what your favorite paper might be saying Monday morning (feel free to throw us your own suggestions too)…

1. Plaxico Burr-ied: Giants’ WR gets double-covered, has one meaningless reception as G-men get deep-sixed.

2. Daddy’s Dearest: Eli wins Supe in just his 4th season, passes older bro Peyton as Archie’s favorite.

3. A Very Brady Sequel: Golden Boy follows up MVP regular season by winning award in XLII.

4. Holy F#@$ing Sh%t!!!: Giants shock the world, beat Patriots… all of America stupefied.

5. Kill Flipper: Pats complete perfect season, ‘72 Dolphins commit mass suicide.

The Super Bowl… the Santana Trade… political primaries… how much can the average person handle? Hopefully the Pats win this Sunday (just don’t blame me if the stock market crashes), ’cause I’m at my breaking point. They say sometimes talking about things is the best stress release, so if you’ll be kind enough to listen, here’s what I’m thinking right now:

First, the Santana trade: If you’re a Met fan, you’ve got to be in a state of catatonic delirium right now. I know I’m going out on a limb here, but somehow I don’t see the Mets choking like dogs again anytime soon; kinda hard to lose 12 of 17 with ol’ number 57 toeing the rubber every five days. As a Yankee fan, though, this all makes me want to puke. How does Twins GM Bill Smith wake up this morning with a job? If someone offers you two everyday players, one of whom is destined to be a top-of-the-rotation stud (Phil Hughes) and the other is a talented young OF-er (Melky Cabrera), how do you then turn around and trade one of the best pitchers of his generation for a bag of crap? I guess if you’re a jackass you would, but you’d have to hope a professional sports executive would be somewhat intelligent. Then again, Steve Phillips was a GM for almost four years, so what do I know?

Alright, the Super Bowl: can they just play the damn game already? I’ll have gotten married, had a kid or two, and retired by the time this thing kicks off. And seriously– what purpose does Media Day serve? If I want to hear bizarre anecdotes and random thoughts on life, I’ll just call up my friends and we’ll talk about what went down last weekend. Though Tuesday confirmed the obvious– Tom Brady is the freakin’ man. Some babe from one of those Spanish TV networks proposes to him, and how does he wiggle out of it? By getting every woman in America to have an even BIGGER crush on him by saying “[No,] I’m a one-woman kind of guy.” Guys, if you want to pick up chicks, stop reading “The Game” and just wait for Brady’s autobiography to come out after he retires.

And last, and DEFINITELY least, politics: Is it just me, or is anyone else wondering how politicians seem to be the only human beings capable of sharing a “mutual respect” for people that they’d just as soon like to see hit by a bus? If someone spent the last five months trying to convince the public that you suck at what you do, that they can do a job infinitely better than you could ever hope to, and that you’re basically the worst thing to happen to America since trans-fats, I’m thinking “respect” would be way down on your “things-I’d-like-to-do-to-that-person” list.

Phew, I feel a lot better now. Time to go watch some more mindless Super Bowl coverage…

Need a reason to root for the Giants? I don’t, and this being a New York-focused site, many of you probably don’t either. But here’s one anyway: whenever an original National Football League team wins the Super Bowl (like the G-men), the stock market rises that year; the market falls when a team like the New England Patriots– an original American Football League team who joined the NFL via the 1970 merger– wins.

Now I know what you’re thinking, “How dependable can a crazy predictor like that be?” Well my friend, it’s been more reliable than most stock market indicators, technical, fundamental, sentimental, or otherwise. The “Super Bowl predictor” has correctly indicated the direction of the Dow Jones Industrial Average for the year following 33 of the 41 previous Super Bowls. That’s an amazing 81% success rate!!! Ask your financial advisor if he’s been right on the direction of the stock market 81% of the time. If most hedge fund managers were toting stats like that there would be a hell of a lot more demand for Bentleys and yachts in the developed world.

Given the recent stock market turmoil, many Americans could use a nice market rally in 2008. If you have money sitting in the stock market right now, you may want to think twice before you put on your Patriots jersey before Super Bowl XLII. Is it really worth a reduction in your personal wealth to see Tom Brady and Co. cap off an undefeated season? In fact, I’ll pose the question to Tom (after all, he is an avid reader of mine): Hey buddy, I know you have a lot of money at play in the stock market. Do you really want to see your massive wealth deteriorate greatly, forcing you to significantly reduce your spending, suddenly rendering your good looks and football success inadequate, leading Giselle to dump you for someone with some real money (like perhaps a certain Subway Chatter writer who put all of his money into put options on the Dow once the Pats won), and then you’ll have to read about their wonderful relationship every day because, although it kills you, he’s such a great and entertaining writer that you keep coming back for more each day. Is that what you really want, Tom? It’s just a little something for you to think about when you take the field Sunday evening against the Giants.

Plaxico Burress did Patrick Ewing one better yesterday– not only did he predict victory in Supe XLII, but he was even kind enough to fill us in on the final score: 23-17 G-men. Just think, it could’ve been worse– Hillary “I’m a true New Yorker” Clinton could be backing Big Blue too. Oh wait, she is? Now how does this work? If you get jinxed twice, do the two cancel each other out? I guess that’s just about all you can hope for right now if you’re a Giants fan.

We made SPORTS ILLUSTRATED!!! The question is how will we handle our success? Will we go off the deep end and burn out in our prime, or will we rise up to be one of the great blogs of all-time? (The rhyme was unintentional, I swear) Eh, we’ll settle for somewhere in between for right now…

We’re less than a week away from the Big Game and as if you weren’t already experiencing Super Bowl overload, the next few days should put us all over the top. So why not take this Monday to focus on some of the events that have made the game the spectacle that it is… even when the game itself wasn’t worth watching:

5) El Hombre de la Familia (Super Bowl XXXIII)
Following a Supe that would become better known for the antics that took place prior to the game (more on that in a bit), the nation was introduced to a moronic father struggling to keep his family afloat in the suburbs while still trying to enjoy some free time with his three buddies, one of whom is a paraplegic, the other a swinger, and the other a neurotic black dude. The progressive-friendly “Rat Pack” for the new millennium? Sure… or you could just call it “Family Guy.”

4) Wardrobegate (Super Bowl XXXVIII)
In what was an odd pairing to begin with, Jacko’s lil’ sis and JT gave a whole new meaning to the word “bizarre” when they took the lyrics of “Rock Your Body” a little too seriously as Timberlake went ahead and ripped off part of Janet’s bustier. Was it offensive? Maybe. But not nearly as offensive as Jackson’s taste in body-piercings. Men everywhere will never be able to look at an areola the same way again.

3) Pre-game Warmup (Super Bowl XXXIII)
On the eve of the Supe, Falcons’ safety Eugene Robinson received the Bart Starr Award, which is given to the player who demonstrates high moral character. How did he celebrate? By soliciting a hooker on Ocean Drive, of course. The only problem (aside from Robinson being a total hypocrite): little Miss Hotpants was actually an undercover police officer. Robinson claimed it was the first time that had ever happened. Crazy thing is, I believe him– I’m guessing that was probably the first time the prostitute actually turned out to be a cop.

2) M.I.A. (Super Bowl XXXVII)
Most people would say the most important position is the QB position, but first you need a decent center to snap him the ball. Well not only did the Raiders have one, but they had a pretty darn good one in Pro-Bowler Barret Robbins. That is before he went missing during the lead-up to the Super Bowl. Robbins turned up a few days before the game… in a San Diego hospital being treated for bipolar disorder and depression. If anyone should sue for malpractice, it’s Robbins– two years later he got into a shootout with cops in Miami and was charged with attempted murder.

1) Dude!!! (Super Bowl XXXVIII - XLII)
I know what you’re saying, “How is this not football-related considering these gals are actually playing FOOTBALL?” Well, if you’re that naive there’s no hope for you. The only thing stopping the Lingerie Bowl from setting ratings records is the fact that it’s on pay-per-view. Stick it on cable, find a corporate sponsor or two to finance a full season, and feminists will finally have what they’ve always wanted– a big-time women’s professional sports league. Or not exactly. Who cares, either way it’s a good idea.

Sometimes breaking up is hard to do. Especially when breaking up with someone you love. Recently I have gone through one of my own and I’m dealing with the inevitable emotional baggage. However, in coping with the split I have looked at the Giants breakup with Tiki Barber as a source of inspiration to help me get through my bleak moment.

As we all know, the Giants had a messy breakup from their all time leading rusher and arguably their best player. However, they didn’t let the turmoil set them back as they went form mediocre to Super in one season. It is hard to replace all the good things Tiki provided— his ability to produce both in the running and passing game and the grittiness to play every down. When Tiki peaced out, he left a big hole on the Giants roster and I, like so many other Giant fans, thought it would be impossible to replace a player of Tiki’s stature in just one off-season. Yet surprisingly, the G-men filled this void and then some.

Although it took more than one player to replace Tiki, Jerry Reese and Co. found a group of guys who were able to make us all forget about number 21. Brandon Jacobs has turned into a wonderful lead back, producing a 1000-yard season even though he played in only seven full games. Ahmad Bradshaw has developed to a potent complement to Jacobs; he possess many of the same cut-back running abilities as Tiki, but still busts through a D-line as hard as Jacobs. This powerful combo has spearheaded the Giants’ path towards the Super Bowl. And the added bonus? They’ve been able to produce on the field while managing to avoid causing all the turmoil that became a staple of Barber’s last couple of seasons with the Giants. Tiki couldn’t stop criticizing Tom Coughlin even though Coughlin was the same man who saved his career by fixing his fumbling problem. Not to mention it’s becoming quite clear that he was hindering the development of Eli Manning by sucking all the oxygen out of the room while he was practicing for his new job during the fourth hour of the Today Show. With Tiki no longer around, Eli has developed into a leader and, dare I say, perhaps a great quarterback.

While breaking up maybe hard to do, the Giants have proved that breaking away can be a good thing. I mean the positives abound— there are the salary cap savings (having a girlfriend is damn expensive), better locker room chemistry (I don’t know about you, but after a while the constant bickering just gets on your nerves) and improved self-esteem (look at Eli, he doesn’t look like such a dumb ass anymore). Finally, instead of having one great back, you can have a slew of legit ones; in my case, I just hope I didn’t give away a Ryan Grant from my practice squad .

One of our readers posted this and we felt it was just too good to leave it tucked away in a comment box. So here it is for your viewing pleasure.

Thanks to Analia for the link.