Everyone’s saying all the “right” things in light of this event, the oft-used “I can’t believe this happened,” and “What a travesty,” and whatever else sounds like something we’d expect them to say, but honestly, how can anyone even be remotely surprised by this? If you spend the last 20 years completely emasculating every male on the planet, doping them up with ritalin every time they show even a hint of precociousness (thankfully I’m not speaking from experience here), and convincing them that even the slightest form of aggressive behavior demonstrates their true inner-chauvinist, then someone had to step in and fill the void and these amazons were all too willing. But seriously, look at all that feminism has accomplished: now women everywhere can say, unabashedly, that they are finally our equal… right down to getting into massive brawls at professional sporting events.

By the way, what is in the Gatorade in Detroit? First there was the “Malice at the Palace,” and now a sequel? Every time I watch a game there (and by “watch” I mean “catch the highlights” because I’d rather have bamboo shoots shoved under my finger nails than watch more than 20-seconds of Chickball) it’s like that scene from Little Nicky where all hell breaks lose at the basketball game. And what was Rick Mahorn thinking here? Clearly he misinterpreted Chris Rock’s famous tutorial on domestic violence. It’s “I won’t hit a b*tch, but I’ll shake the sh*t out of her,” not “I won’t hit a b*tch, but I’ll throw her down in front of 15,000 people and make sure ESPN catches me doing it on 20-different camera angles.” Though I will say this– it’s hilarious when something embarrassing happens to a chick. Whether it be a girl falling down in public, or getting hit in the head by a random foreign object (get your mind out of the gutter, people), it’s always good for a laugh. I’m sorry it came at the hands of Rick Mahorn assaulting Lisa Leslie in this instance, but hey, sometimes that’s the price you pay for high comedy.

PS– Forget the disaster you watched up there, this is how God intended for women to fight:

Yeah, throw that towel right in Danica’s face, Milka. What’s with the dudes trying to break this thing up? Freakin’ amateurs.

I wanted to write about Danica Patrick’s cat fight with Milka Duno, but the Giants made a big move that needs to be discussed. A few weeks ago I told you that I heard from a reliable source about an unlikely trade of Jeremy Shockey for Twinkle Toes Taylor. I also said that despite the reliable source, I didn’t see why it would happen from either team’s perspective. It turns out they did end up being traded at pretty much the same time, just not for each other. The dancing Dolphin was traded into the NFC East, but to the rival Redskins. Shockey was sent to the south, but the NFC South and the New
Orleans Saints.

I think the trade makes sense for the Saints. But being a Giants fan, I couldn’t care less about that side of the trade. Is it a good trade for the Giants? I’m not sure. Shockey is very gifted as an athlete and has the skills of a top-five tight end. He is as complete a tight end as you’ll find, which has become a rare commodity in the NFL; he is a great blocker and a true weapon as a pass catcher. And I know it seems like Shockey’s been around for a while, but he’s only 27. Kevin Boss filled in admirably for Shockey after Jeremy broke his leg, but those who are ready to count Boss as an adequate replacement for Shockey are drawing from a very small sample size. The guy showed some skills getting open and catching the ball, but he was an unknown to defenses who were much more concerned with limiting receptions for Plax and Amani. Additionally, it’s been well documented by the coaches that, despite his size, Boss is not (yet) nearly the blocker Shockey is.

On the other hand, Shockey can lose focus at times and drop passes… key passes. More importantly, though, Jeremy has been known to act like a baby. His selfish crying has been a major distraction to the rest of the team. Nobody but Eli knows for sure, but the evidence pointed to Manning being much more comfortable quarterbacking the Giants when he didn’t feel like he had to force the ball to Shockey ten times a game. It’s entirely possible that Eli’s coming of age as an NFL quarterback just happened to coincide with Shockey’s absence from the lineup and the two were completely unrelated, just like it’s entirely possible that the beautiful chick that was totally into me for a little while actually suddenly had something better going on just as I was entering the “extremely drunk” zone Saturday night. The bottom line is if Shockey was as unhappy as a Giant as he led us all to believe, then he was going to be a poison in the locker room and needed to go.

Everyone has their opinion as to whether this was a good trade for the Giants or not. However, the fact is only Eli Manning knows if Shockey’s antics truly hurt his performance. Only the coaches have seen enough of Kevin Boss to know if he’s capable of replacing Shockey. And only the Giants organization truly knows how happy/unhappy Shockey was and how much of a distraction he was threatening to be. Journalists don’t know. Talk radio hosts don’t know. Drunks in the bar don’t know.

If Shockey was truly unhappy the trade needed to happen. My only question is: why didn’t it happen on Draft Day? The Giants were offered this very deal on the day of the 2008 NFL draft and passed on it. If the Giants took the deal back then, they could have used the extra second round pick (number 40 overall - next year it won’t be as high) on a linebacker like Tavares Gooden or one of a number of very good corners that were still available at 40 but gone by the time the Giants picked at 63 (and it turns out they could have then grabbed Gooden at 63). The Giants could have taken a very good player at a position they needed to address and therefore helped themselves THIS YEAR rather than wait until 2009 for any benefit from the trade.

Forced to choose, I think this was probably a good trade by the Giants. Hopefully Eli will continue to excel as he’s able to relax and find the open receiver regardless of who it is and hopefully Kevin Boss will continue to improve and become a top level tight end in the NFL. If these two things happen, the trade will prove to have been a good one for the Giants, but it still should have happened on draft day.

What do you think about the trade? Share your thoughts below or email me at mfh@subwaychatter.com

No spoiler alerts here. I wanna make sure a good majority of you see this movie in all its surprise-filled splendor before I review it/ruin major portions of it. In fulfilling my duties as SC Nation’s utmost authority on worthy-of-seeing-ASAP movie titles (as if anyone needed to tell you to go see The Dark Knight anyway), I went and saw it at 12:45am last night, er, this morning– which, by the way, is a great way to hype a flick. You basically create the perception that the movie is so ridiculously amazing, no one should be able to wait until the afternoon or evening of the day it comes out to see it, so they must abandon all rational behavior and stay up till 4 in the morning to see it despite the fact that they have work the next morning. Needless to say, all those corporate marketeers earned their paychecks: my showing sold out (thankfully I got my tix online) and just to be sure I wasn’t off-base on what a great idea this is, I asked the theater’s manager how the 3am showing did on my way out (loser-ish behavior, I know) and, surprise surprise, that one sold out too.

Of course, it also helps when the movie you’re hyping is the greatest superhero flick of all time. In fact, it’s not even close at this point; you’ll never be able to watch the first Batman with a straight face again and the Spiderman franchise might as well be a Disney Channel series after this. My only complaint was with Maggie Gyllenhall playing the role of Rachel Dawes (apparently Katie Holmes is still chained to the bedpost in Tom Cruise’s room and wasn’t available to reprise the role). Obviously the producer and/or director are either gay or have terrible taste in women because (VERY SLIGHT SPOILER ALERT!) there is no way in a million years I’m buying the fact that Batman and the District Attorney of Gotham City would both be vying for the affection that broomhilda. Me personally, I would’ve cast Megan Fox, especially taking into consideration the other chicks you see Bruce Wayne with throughout the film (it’s a fairly precipitous drop off when you go from this chick to this one if you ask me). See, there’s even some eye candy (and a Lambo towards the end)! Like I said, this movie does not disappoint. That said, the special affects were so out of control to begin with (think Terminator 2 meets Batman Begins) that adding Megan Fox to the mix would’ve caused every male in the theater to go into cardiac arrest half-way through the movie. So, I guess for that reason alone it was probably a good idea to go with Gyllenhall and keep everyone’s blood pressure down. Anyway, stop reading this and start making plans to go see it. Chuck Wipple just bought his tickets online and I suggest you do the same.

How ironic that our season would die on the day America was born. Oh well, time for some more of what makes America great: hot chicks in American flag bathing suits…

HAPPY 4TH EVERYONE!!!

This weekend I saw Get Smart. I used to watch it on Nick at Nite and it was pretty funny back in the day. Well, the big screen version was no disappointment as Steve Carrel made you almost pee yourself in playing Maxwell Smart. Duane “The Rock” Johnson also makes an appearance as the Great Khali, both from the WWE.

However the most intriguing performance was that of Anne Hathway. Once Disney’s little princess, she is now a legitimate sex kitten. She’s asked to use her sex appeal in a variety of situations and, I gotta tell ya, it works.

I usually don’t do movie reviews, well, because this is a sports site (although variety and the like has never been discouraged), but I would strongly encourage going to see Get Smart because it’s funny and Anne Hathaway can get it.

To touch on some sports issues though:

1. Shaq’s freestyle was rabbitish and a little weak… Kobe, you could eat my a$$? Very original. Could’ve went with suck my [beep], but a$$ was definitely more crowd-friendly.

2. On a somewhat related note, Ozzie Guillen went freaking nuts two weeks or so ago saying how everyone and everything basically could eat his a$$, and the White Sox have played legitimate baseball since then.

3. Willie Randolph was supposedly doomed before he could get a bona fide crack at turning the Mets around this season… and after last year’s collapse like a back alley boob job, it wasn’t really a surprise. New York is all about winning and if you don’t, your job is in jeopardy… unless you coach the Knicks, then you have a few years and a gajillion dollars before to blow before you’re ousted.

4. “Pacman” Jones no longer wishes to be referred to by his nickname and strictly wants to be known as Adam Jones. I guess it’s easier than having to remember “Prison Number 736492128.”

5. Interleague play is a stellar idea that should be continued as long as possible. Sure, it might take some of the glamour away from the World Series, but in all reality, it’s one of the only times a number of fans can see their teams play with the big dogs in the AL. You can thank us in advance for your best attendance numbers of the season, Pittsburgh Pirates.

6. Maria Sharapova said she would be wearing less flashy clothes at Wimbeldon… and we would continue to watch her play why?

7. Roger Federer extended his win streak on grass courts to 60 straight… why do I feel like this guy does not pull as much a$$ as he should? And if he does, I wanna see what kind of caliber he is pulling, just so I can decide if growing my hair out that long is worth it.

8. Anne Hathaway… just needed to make a shout-out one more time.

At the end of the day, it’s comforting to know that ballplayers are just like the rest of us– they put their pants on one jealous, green-with-envy leg at a time:

In a Sports Illustrated survey of 495 Major League Baseball players in its June 23 issue, Jeter was voted the most overrated with 10% of the vote. Struggling Giants lefthander Barry Zito was second at 9%, while Alex Rodriguez and Red Sox outfielder J.D. Drew were tied for third with 7%. Mets third baseman David Wright and Red Sox first baseman Kevin Youkilis tied for fourth at 4%…

Padres designated hitter Tony Clark, who was a teammate of Jeter’s and Rodriguez’s on the 2004 Yankees, laughed off the results, calling it a case of envy. “The first poll I would 100% agree with,” Clark said of building a team around Jeter and A-Rod. “The second poll I would suggest is more jealousy on guys’ part, in respect to how talented those two guys are, the success they’ve had. I think it has a lot to do with that.”

Um, you think so, Tony? Now let me just preface what I’m about to say by pointing out that I’m not the biggest Jeter or A-rod apologist in the world; the 14-year-old in me stills loves Jeter’s clutchness, but the the 20-something-year-old me has grown to hate his inning-ending double plays and has never really warmed to A-rod (though if he keeps this up, A-rod will start to rival Mariano for the right to be called my man crush). That said, it’s pretty obvious what’s going on here. Think about it– if Maxim comes to you tomorrow and asks “If you’re out trying to pick up the hottest chicks on the planet, who would you want your wingmen to be?” without hesitation you’d say, “Derek Jeter, Justin Timberlake, Leonardo DiCaprio, or the lead singer from Maroon 5 (whatever the f@#k his name is).” But if they turn around and ask you, “Who do you hate with a passion, if for no other reason than they have a$$loads of money and get with chicks you could never dream of because they’re so hot your mind wouldn’t even be able to comprehend it?” you’d reply, “Derek Jeter, Justin Timberlake, Leonardo DiCaprio, and that Maroon 5 dude.”

I mean this might as well be in the Bible or something because it’s the oldest example of oxymoronic human behavior out there. Seriously, everyone wants to benefit from someone else’s greatness, but in the end, everyone hates that person for being great in the first place. The thought process is pretty simple: “if I want to win a championship, I know I’m not that great on my own, so I’m going to need a guy on my team who already has 532 career homeruns and is on pace to be the all-time homerun leader, and, come to think of it, I’ll also need a shortstop who’s gonna get 3,000 hits and already has 4 World Championships. Ah, but f@#k them. They steal all the hotties when we’re out, make millions in endorsements, and have the fattest contracts to boot. I should have all that sh*t too. I’m just as good as them… only I’m not, so I might as well just hate them for being better than me.” Sounds ridiculous, I know, but I’ve seen people do this enough in my own life — as I’m sure many of you have too — to know that this kind of thing happens all too often. So the next time some guy at the bar calls you a douchebag for stealing the gorgeous girl he was going after, or hates on you in the office because you have a higher salary than he does, just know that it’s because you’re better than him, and everyone knows it… even if they say otherwise.

Remember when I said this like 3 months ago? Well, that’s Ashley Dupre (aka, Spitzer’s hooker) on the left, looking a little flabby in the upper-arm and hip-to-thigh department, and that’s her mommy on the right. For the 500th time, “I told you so.”

Thanks to the Daily News for the pics.

I won’t speak for all of the Subway Chatter writers, but I have never claimed to be completely free of my immature ways. So I present to you, SC nation, my favorite headline of the week:

Great Tits Cope Well With Warming

This may be a good time to declare that I will no longer be writing for Subway Chatter. I am moving to England to become a researcher:

“The research uses a long record of great tits in a breeding site at Wytham Woods near Oxford, where observations began in 1947.”

“…and it is believed that great tits also begin their breeding cycle in response to temperatures.”

I am looking forward to my new job.

What happens when an acquaintance of yours gets invited to Danica Patrick’s 1st career win celebration party (not really sure how that happened, but that’s neither here nor there)? You pilfer the pics from it off their Facebook page, of course. As I discussed last week, it seems that whenever someone pulls out a camera, chicks take it as a cue to start ripping their clothes off, make the “kissy face,” and maybe even stick their heinies out for good measure. So considering all that, I kinda like what Danica’s doing here. Nothing says “I’m different from every other chick on the planet” quite like posing in a ridiculously unattractive way while saying “F-U” to your audience. I’m pretty sure being the only woman to win an Indy Car race accomplishes that, but I guess looking like a broom-hilda and showing off your white-trash side does this too. Actually, now that I think about it, never again will I complain about girls trying to look like hookers in their pictures, because I much prefer Danica when she’s looking like this…

Another blog beat us to the punch while I was at the gym this morning, but this is just too good a story to pass up:

Arizona State University may have less cheerful sidelines at sporting events next season.

Although only six members of the squad are shown in the photographs, the entire 16-member squad will suffer the consequences, MyFOXPhoenix reported.

Is it just me, or is it blatantly obvious that feminism has failed miserably? All those hippie b*tches who went around burning their bras and aborting an entire generation’s-worth of babies did all that hard work just to find out some 30 years later that every chick in America now aspires to be a porn star. There was a time in this country where the only way you could get a girl to take her clothes off was to buy her expensive jewelry, or pay for all her drinks when she went out… including the two extra shots that she was already too drunk to say, “No,” to. But now all you have to do is hand a chick a digital camera, or geez, even a cell phone, and you’ve brought the comforts of the strip club to your very own dorm room. I guess my only complaint in all this is that I didn’t get my digital camera until my junior year of college. That was two-and-a-half years of extra nudity I would have had access to without going through the trouble of trolling around my dorm at 3am on a Saturday to see which of my chick friends was still awake (and if you think about it, even being able to do that is just another example of how terribly awry this whole feminism experiment has gone)!!! Damn technology and it’s penchant for being so expensive that my parents wouldn’t trust me with a $500 piece of metal until I was 21.

Oh right, you all probably want to see the pic that got these girls blacklisted. Click here and enjoy!!! (As a side note, I gotta hand it to these girls. Most cheerleading squads these days are full of dumpy looking girls while the dance teams have all the Grade A pickings, but these girls are pretty legit. Something tells me they’ll land on their feet when all is said and done.)

Seeing Heidi Klum in the new VW commercials got me thinking– her only downfall is that she married Seal. Though give her credit for marrying a guy whose name is perfect for his face, because it looks like a seal got f-ed up by a tiger shark. With a nickname like “the Body,” and with the looks to match, perhaps she and Liz Hurley can share the title of hottest cougar/MILF on the planet. Either that, or they can just rotate the title on a yearly basis; either way, they both deserve to be ogled by all of SC Nation.

With the Yankees playing like they are, are you really that surprised that I’m posting about Heidi Klum and not the Bombers? Actually, just a quick note: Bobby Abreu, if you do not start learning where the fence is and if you don’t start reading fly balls correctly as they come off the bat, then I’m not going to do anything except make it my mission to compare you to the other better right fielders in the league on a daily basis (Is Alex Rios a good starting point?) and make sure that the whole of SC Nation knows that you suck.

Just a week after Danica Patrick became the first woman driver to win an IndyCar Race, Ashley Force became the first chickee to win a Funny Car event. What else do these women have in common, aside from making it big in 2nd-rate (if that) racing circuits? They’re both fairly attractive. Unfortunately, we’ll probably never know who the better driver is (though in the words of MFH, “They both suck anyway.”), but we can determine one thing for sure– which one of these better-than-average-looking ladies would finish first in the Cutie 500. So who ya got…

Danica Patrick

or Ashley Force

PS– I’m well aware that there are way hotter pics of Danica than the one I posted splashed all over the internet, just waiting to be copied and pasted to the site. But Ashley’s at a decided disadvantage in the “almost-pornographic-but-not-quite” picture department, so I had to make this a fair fight. Just figured I’d offer that little disclaimer before my inbox exploded.

Hello SC nation, remember me? Your favorite writer is back from a brief hiatus. Luckily I haven’t really missed much because A) As much as I enjoy playing hockey and watching it in person, I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about the NHL playoffs. B) I love basketball, but I find the NBA about as exciting as skin cancer and C) I love baseball, I love the Red Sox, but it’s tough to get emotionally invested in a game when you know there are 153 of them left to be played. (The MLB season is so ridiculously long that someone who knew absolutely nothing about baseball would probably think I was exaggerating there, but no, that is actually the case in April.) That being said, there are a few noteworthy items that I feel compelled to briefly comment on in a segment that may or may not become a regular thing for me and is tentatively titled, “what the hell are you supposed to be?”

Hank Steinbrenner is a f#&@ing clown: When it was announced that George’s son would be taking over for him, I made the mistake of taking this news seriously. I was completely unaware that this was just an elaborate Saturday Night Live skit where Darryl Hammond pretends to be George Steinbrenner’s son and does a caricature of George, ranting and raving more than George does in real life and making comically ludicrous comments. Well done SNL, you duped me. I do find the whole, “my daddy was rich enough to own his own baseball team, so that makes me more qualified to manage a baseball team than any of the professionals hired by my pops, and also makes me more knowledgeable than a man who spent fifteen years catching in the major leagues about handling pitchers” routine exceptionally humorous. And to top it off he called anyone who would not insert Joba into the starting rotation (insert the best GM in baseball to get zero respect from his owners and newly hired manager who happens to be a beloved ex-Yankee) an idiot. Truly high comedy. I rank this skit right up there with “More Cowbell.”

Speaking of Joba, while watching the Sox-Yanks on YES last week I saw a commercial for a show where Joba was interviewed with his father. I didn’t see the actual show, but in the commercial we saw Joba laughing at one point and he looked exactly like that kid in high school who wasn’t officially retarded but everyone knew he was straddling the line between “can pass as normal” and “should probably wear a hockey helmet at all times.” Every school had at least one of these kids right? Needless to say, I was delighted to see the new pride of the Yankees shown in this light.

Chad Johnson is a f$%^ing baby: Chad Johnson isn’t happy playing for the Bengals and having been the second highest paid receiver over the past three years. He is demanding that he be traded or he will sit out next season. I LOVE that Marvin Lewis and the Bengals have responded with, “Go ahead, sit out, we’ll be happy to save all that money.” I just hope the Bengals front office is solid enough to really see this through to the end and not bow to the pressure come September. The truth is, Chad is an overrated, overpaid, under-producing infant that needs to be coddled and throws a fit when Marvin Lewis has anything harsh to say about him. He’s been lucky enough to benefit from the talent around him on the Cincinnati offense and probably isn’t even the best receiver on his own team. I really do hope Chad has to sit out this entire season. Perhaps it will show him that he is NOT bigger than the team. Unfortunately though, it probably won’t.

Danica Patrick is a f*%&ing winner: In case you didn’t hear, Danica finally got her first IndyCar victory this past weekend in Japan, to which I responded, “They race Indy cars in Japan?” I am happy for Ms. Patrick. I thought all the criticism that was directed her way for not having won a race was a little unfair. I don’t know a lot about racing but I’m pretty sure there are a bunch of guys that never win a race at the top level. I will say I was pretty shocked to hear that she won though, because we all know how awful women are at driving.

MFH is f$&#ing lucky: I received a grand jury summons a few weeks ago, and it came as a total shock to me (though still not a shocking as a chick winning a driving competition) that for grand jury duty one must report twice a week for TWO MONTHS. Needless to say I was not interested in that. On the first day I had to report we were all herded into the court room and after a sleep-inducing speech by the lady in charge our juror numbers were put into a bingo-type device. There were about sixty people there to fill up 23 slots so odds were I wouldn’t get picked. And if the 23 who were selected all got season tickets to the Giants I would never have been selected, but since the 23 numbers that came up got jury duty, of course my number was pulled. Next came excuse time: “I have two kids with cancer and I need to take care of them.” “My son just tried to commit suicide.” “I have a medical condition where I can’t sit for an extended period of time, here’s a note from my doctor.” (Note from the doctor is always clutch. All you kids out there listen up, find the kid in your class most likely to become a doctor and become his/her best friend. Doctor’s notes can be key in so many situations: “Rob missed work, not because he was hungover, but he was actually sick again for the third Friday in a row.” “Adam will be missing the next week because of emergency surgery, not because it’s supposed to be 80 and sunny every day.” “The massages Matt has been getting are medically necessary and should be covered by his health insurance.” “Scott needs steroids because of a testosterone deficiency.” “Brian needs medical marijuana because of his unusually high anxiety.” You get the point.) So after all of these great excuses for not serving on the jury the lady asked, “Does anyone else have a problem serving?” I raised my hand because I DID have a problem. I had better things to do with my time. I mean it was two days a week for TWO MONTHS. So I boldly stated, “I don’t have a good excuse, it’s just a busy time at work right now and would be much easier for me if I could serve sometime in the future.” Well SC nation, you should have seen the look on the face of “suicidal kid guy” and “double cancer child lady” when the woman in charge replied with, “ok, what would be a better time?” Not only that, but I wasn’t almost killed by any crazy woman drivers on the way home. How’s that for luck?

Any women who want to take issue with my comments about their driving abilities (or lack thereof) can comment below or email me at mfh@subwaychatter.com

If you’re about to turn 43 and you look like that in a two-piece, then yes, you’ve earned the right to be called the hottest cougar on the planet, regardless of whether it’s actually true or not. This picture got me thinking though– I know people are outraged by how Hollywood drives young girls to anorexia by promoting women who are rail-thin, but isn’t it a bigger crime to produce pics like this? I mean at least as far as the former goes, getting down to 90 lbs. is doable. But looking like Liz Hurley does after you’ve had a kid or two and are about 20 years removed from your last spring break? Yeah, that’s not happening. Anyways, Hugh Grant deserves to be shot, wherever he is…

CLICK HERE FOR MORE OF ELIZABETH HURLEY’S MANGO BIKINI LINE PICS!!!

As Seinfeld proved, sometimes real life produces the greatest comedy. Well, Chuck Wipple and I were talking on AIM, and as is typically the case with mid-20s males, the convo centered around two things… here, I’ll let you find out for yourself… (these aren’t our real screen names, so don’t go crazy when we don’t show up on your buddy list)

Monnie D.: yo, how good is [Derrick] rose?
Chuck: I hope we get a top two pick, we need rose bad
Monnie D: if we have a guy like rose, we can be good again in 2 years
Monnie D: look at the impact guys like chris paul and derron williams had (we talked about this the other night)
Monnie D: the jazz weren’t even a playoff team… they get williams, they are among the league’s elite
Monnie D: and paul? forget it
Chuck: yea… it will be so bad if the Knicks get stuck with like the # 4 pick
Monnie D: yeah goodness… i mean who would we even take? mayo? gordon?
Chuck: I dunno… there is no true point guard really after rose, and we need a point guard BAD… mayo and gordon are like combo guards
Monnie D: if we get mayo then we should trade jamal for a bag of crap
Chuck: or he could just be a bigger version of jamal crawford… i don’t think he plays much defense either
Monnie D: i don’t know why people are so down on him… i thought his defense was pretty good the four times i saw him play… his arms are so damn long you just can’t get around him
Monnie D: even the game where he sucked against UCLA… it was more his team just being horrible than anything else
Monnie D: i think that’s what hurt him… he was on a team that sucked, and people had hyped him up to be the next lebron
Monnie D: so now everyone’s down on him cause he isn’t… i mean fine, he’s not lebron… but if he’s dwayne wade that’s not bad
Chuck: that’s true… but rose is the only franchise changer in this draft
Monnie D: yeah no question
Monnie D: yo women in the 50s and 60s were so much hotter than they are now
Chuck: what makes u say that?
Monnie D: i dunno i guess just in a general sense… it seemed like women were way more attractive…. like hollywood wise i guess… most of the chicks in showbiz today are borderline heinously ugly
Monnie D: but back in the day they were all sexy… today chicks are only thought to be hot if they are pin-thin
Monnie D: but back then they had some real curves… they looked like grown women, not like chicks just starting puberty…
Chuck: lol… i was thinking the same exact thing
Monnie D: none of this BS where they play chick sports until they are 18 and have no boobs and no hips… i guess Scarlett Johansson is the lone exception
Chuck: they have to look frail to be considered hot
Monnie D: yeah it’s ridiculous
Chuck: look at Jessica Alba, she was so hot when Dark Angel came out and then she lost all that weight and lost all of her body
Monnie D: wow so true… i mean perfect example… alessandra ambrosio… yeah she’s insanely hot and i’d absolutely give my left whatever just to stand next to her for five minutes… but i’d like her better if she had C-cups and some hips, ya know?
Chuck: exactly
Monnie D: this is my kinda chick…
http://www.barstoolsports.com/article/afternoon_delight_denise_milani/2198/
Monnie D: now don’t get me wrong… her boobs are too big
Monnie D: but still… that’s how women are supposed to look… like they’ve got some meat on them, like they can take some punishment…
Monnie D: like their moms were feeding them and not constantly reminding them what fat monsters they were going to become if they wanted to have a cheeseburger every once in a while
Chuck: wow yeah now she is hot
Chuck: ur right though, her boobs aren’t for long time use… need to get the 4-year power train warranty on them… have to get frequent breast lifts
Chuck: but these are things u have to look for in a partner
Monnie D: absolutely… hip to waist ratio is just as important as personality type, propensity for loyalty… absence of golddigging, etc.
Chuck: like i said up there, it’s just like getting a car
Chuck: if u get a volvo, u sacrifice looks for dependablity… u get a bmw, you get more features but it’s harder to maintain as it ages
Chuck: see this is why it’s better to “lease”
Monnie D: yeah wow, great call… brb, gotta take care of something