Our women are better than your women (even though your judges tried to screw them)

I never stay up past midnight to watch a sporting event unless it involves the Yanks, Knicks, or Patriots… that is until last night, when Nastia Liukin and Shawn Johnson won Gold and Silver (in that order) and made women’s gymnastics seem like Game 7 of the World Series. Alright fine, maybe just Game 5 of the ALDS. Mock it all you want, but their near-perfect routines were the stuff of legend, especially when you consider the fact that half-way through the competition, the judges started doing what Olympic judges do best: make sure the host country’s athletes get higher scores no matter how flawed their routines are. Only in this case they couldn’t do it because the Chinese chick’s performance was so terrible — she nearly fell off the balance beam… before her routine even started!!! — and Nastia and Shawn’s were so gangster, that giving her the gold would’ve caused an international incident. So instead they stuck her with the bronze– which she still didn’t deserve. Eh, so long as our girls finished first and second, I’ll let the rest of the world worry about the injustice. Isn’t that what everyone from France to China wants us to do anyway?

By the way: the Yanks start their comeback tonight!!!