Jeremy Shockey a Dolphin?? Here’s a Giants’ trade rumor that’s more than just slightly reliable

A friend of mine came to me with a Jeremy Shockey trade rumor that I would not give a hint of credence to if the source weren’t so reliable (not my dumb friend, the person he got the information from). Admittedly it comes to me third-hand, so this could wind up being a horrible version of telephone, but I figured I’d share it with my Subway Chatter friends anyway. The information made its way to my buddy through a friend of a friend. This associate is known to be good friends with Bill Parcells. Reportedly not long ago he was hanging out with the Big Tuna who mentioned to him that the Dolphins and Giants were talking about a deal that would send Jason Taylor to the Giants for Jeremy Shockey straight-up.

If it weren’t for the source being reliable on Parcells matters in the past I’d completely disregard this rumor. The trade doesn’t make much sense for either team. The Dolphins have a lot of needs and tight end is near the bottom of the list. What are they going to do with a top-quality tight end without a quarterback that can get him the ball? Or an offensive line to protect said quarterback? And the Giants have an abundance of very good defensive ends. They have little use for another one, who has already said this season will probably be his last. Not to mention one that would rather dance on TV than practice with his team. If they were going to trade Shockey for a rent-a-player, they’d be much better served picking up a strong safety, cornerback, or outside linebacker. More likely though, the G-Men are waiting to get a second-round-pick-plus for Shockey so they can get a young talented player who will (hopefully) help them for years. I just don’t see why either team would make this trade, but given the source I’ll actually only give it a 65% chance that the information is bogus.

Speaking of bogus, how fake are girls? Last night Monnie D. and I were out at a few bars and ran into some girls we know. As I was chatting with one of them we were spotted by another girl I know who approached me. Now mind you– girl number 1 and girl number 2 have only met once and do not like each other. In fact, the one time they met I had to hear from girl number 1 and her friend about how they didn’t get along at all with girl number 2. I won’t get into the reason they don’t get along, I’ll just say it may or may not have something to do with me. Anyway, girl number 2 comes over and gives an enthusiastic “HI!” to girl number 1, accompanied by a hug. This shocking action was followed by an, “I miss you,” to which girl number 1 replied, “I know, me too,” in an equally enthusiastic tone. Unfortunately, text can’t depict insincerity very well but both girls sounded about as disingenuous as a klansman would have giving a heart felt eulogy for Martin Luther King Jr. A guy would have handled this situation in one of three very different ways:

1. He would have thought to himself, “there’s Michelle, oh but there’s Sam, I don’t want to talk to that douche” and stayed away.

2. He would have walked over and talked to Michelle, completely ignoring Sam’s presence… or existence on earth for that matter.

3. He would have walked over and given Sam the, “hey” accompanied by the “I don’t like you and you don’t like me” look and continued on to talk to Michelle briefly.

Notice none of the actions a man makes involve any sort of forced friendliness to someone with which you have a mutual hatred– a hatred everyone in the area is well aware of. But who doesn’t know guys and girls are different? Men are very logical, rational beings. And women…aren’t. Don’t believe me? Take a listen…

http://www.scherle.com/psychoexgirlfriend/voicemails.html

http://psychoexgirlfriend.net/2007/01/because-rape-was-better-than-leaving.html

VERY rational behavior.