While taking a break from watching the Yankees forget to show up to play the Rangers, I started flipping channels and saw that the Olympic Swimming Trials were taking place in Nebraska and decided to watch it for a little bit. The one thing that I discovered in tenths of a second is that Michael Phelps is a real life Aquaman. The kid (he just turned 23 two days ago) holds a dozen or so world records and, in one event in particular, the 200M butterfly, he hasn’t lost since 2002! I know swimming isn’t the most entertaining thing to watch, and the Olympics don’t exactly have people planning parties around the the Men’s Rings event, but the qualifying events are somewhat ridiculous to watch, especially when Phelps swims like a Scientologist sperm towards the back of Tom Cruise’s throat.
On a side note…why wouldn’t Mexicans hold the world records for swimming?
Staying on the subject of water and marine-related animals and whatnot, Steve Phillips stated that the AL East was going to come down to the Red Sox and the Rays. Hey Steve, we’re only half-way through the season and you’d pick youth and inexperience over the Yanks? Didn’t you also pick the Yanks not to make the playoffs last year around the same time? Maybe because you and the Mets split ways you’re a little biased towards New York? Putz.
On a totally unrelated topic (although avoiding possible STDs could be like the 100-yard dash), Tila Tequila wound up choosing Kristy from my home town, Yonkers, New York, and Kristy (Whose a$$ is f*ckin legit. I mean you could put a drink on it and it wouldn’t move, yet if she decided to bounce it up and down, it would jiggle in only the way that a guy can appreciate) turned down the key to Tila’s heart. (Editor’s Update: here is a shot of Kristy’s a$$ for you all to marvel at. I haven’t seen such a juicy caboose since my boy Archie bounced a quarter off my ex-girlfriend’s roommate’s bubble-bum a few years back and I nearly got my eyes scratched out.)
After Tila started crying, she asked why Kristy would wait until the final moment of the show to tell Tila she wasn’t game. Hmm, let me think– maybe because for 2 seasons you’ve made out with and finger banged, or actually banged, 40 or so people? And I still have no idea why you’re famous.
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