Adriana Lima, Derek Jeter, & some other hottie
At the end of the day, it’s comforting to know that ballplayers are just like the rest of us– they put their pants on one jealous, green-with-envy leg at a time:

In a Sports Illustrated survey of 495 Major League Baseball players in its June 23 issue, Jeter was voted the most overrated with 10% of the vote. Struggling Giants lefthander Barry Zito was second at 9%, while Alex Rodriguez and Red Sox outfielder J.D. Drew were tied for third with 7%. Mets third baseman David Wright and Red Sox first baseman Kevin Youkilis tied for fourth at 4%…

Ironically, when SI asked MLB players in a separate survey last week, “Whom would you pick to build a team around?”, A-Rod ranked first and Jeter second, perhaps offering a slight contradiction.

Padres designated hitter Tony Clark, who was a teammate of Jeter’s and Rodriguez’s on the 2004 Yankees, laughed off the results, calling it a case of envy. “The first poll I would 100% agree with,” Clark said of building a team around Jeter and A-Rod. “The second poll I would suggest is more jealousy on guys’ part, in respect to how talented those two guys are, the success they’ve had. I think it has a lot to do with that.”

Um, you think so, Tony? Now let me just preface what I’m about to say by pointing out that I’m not the biggest Jeter or A-rod apologist in the world; the 14-year-old in me stills loves Jeter’s clutchness, but the the 20-something-year-old me has grown to hate his inning-ending double plays and has never really warmed to A-rod (though if he keeps this up, A-rod will start to rival Mariano for the right to be called my man crush). That said, it’s pretty obvious what’s going on here. Think about it– if Maxim comes to you tomorrow and asks “If you’re out trying to pick up the hottest chicks on the planet, who would you want your wingmen to be?” without hesitation you’d say, “Derek Jeter, Justin Timberlake, Leonardo DiCaprio, or the lead singer from Maroon 5 (whatever the f@#k his name is).” But if they turn around and ask you, “Who do you hate with a passion, if for no other reason than they have a$$loads of money and get with chicks you could never dream of because they’re so hot your mind wouldn’t even be able to comprehend it?” you’d reply, “Derek Jeter, Justin Timberlake, Leonardo DiCaprio, and that Maroon 5 dude.”

I mean this might as well be in the Bible or something because it’s the oldest example of oxymoronic human behavior out there. Seriously, everyone wants to benefit from someone else’s greatness, but in the end, everyone hates that person for being great in the first place. The thought process is pretty simple: “if I want to win a championship, I know I’m not that great on my own, so I’m going to need a guy on my team who already has 532 career homeruns and is on pace to be the all-time homerun leader, and, come to think of it, I’ll also need a shortstop who’s gonna get 3,000 hits and already has 4 World Championships. Ah, but f@#k them. They steal all the hotties when we’re out, make millions in endorsements, and have the fattest contracts to boot. I should have all that sh*t too. I’m just as good as them… only I’m not, so I might as well just hate them for being better than me.” Sounds ridiculous, I know, but I’ve seen people do this enough in my own life — as I’m sure many of you have too — to know that this kind of thing happens all too often. So the next time some guy at the bar calls you a douchebag for stealing the gorgeous girl he was going after, or hates on you in the office because you have a higher salary than he does, just know that it’s because you’re better than him, and everyone knows it… even if they say otherwise.

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