Some Friday the 13th thoughts…

So I had it all planned out perfectly: After Kobe Bryant popped one off in Curt Schilling’s eye, made a somewhat derogatory Bill Belichick reference — which, despite the fact that I’m a Patriots fan, I can always appreciate attacks on Boston sports personalities — and was well on his way to blowing the doors off the Celtics in Game 4, I was going to take some time this morning to name Kobe as Subway Chatter’s first-ever honorary New Yorker in recognition of his tireless efforts to desecrate all that is holy in Beantown…

And then the 2nd half happened. To say the Lakers “choked” would be like saying Rosie O’Donnell has trouble keeping weight off. The Lakers basically put a wet paper towel down their throats, held it there for five or so minutes, then pulled it out with their esophagal wall attached such that their own acid reflux seeped into their wind pipe, burned a hole through it, and then they gasped for air for a good two minutes before asphyxiating. Yeah, it was that bad. Obviously this series is over (and my prediction was wrong) and hopefully the Celtics will do the honorable thing and put the Lakers out of their misery Sunday night because this “dream” Finals has turned into a nightmare. I mean first it was the Donaughy thing, and now this? Someone better go check on David Stern because he’s been in the bathroom for about two hours now and the tub water is still running.

Despite my abject hatred for the Celtics, I’ve discovered the silver lining in all this– at least for today, and maybe through this entire weekend, it’s way worse being a Laker fan than it is being a Knick fan. Been a long-ass time since I’ve been able to say something like that! To celebrate I’m going to check out one of the two summer blockbusters that released today, The Incredible Hulk or The Happening. I haven’t decided which one I’m gonna go to yet, though I’m very much leaning in the direction of The Happening. I mean what kind of American infidel would I be if I didn’t watch a horror flick on this unofficial-official pagan holiday? Plus, M. Night Shyamalan has gotten me to piss my pants a couple times wielding only a PG-13 rating, so I’m kinda interested to see what he can do with an “R” at his disposal. Either way, I promise a review of whichever movie I see on Monday… that is if MFH and I manage to survive the night on our buddy’s birthday party-bus tomorrow.

Go Joba, and enjoy your weekend, SC Nation!!!