MFH talks about nothing… and you’ll like it!

Each week I try to write at least two pieces for Subway Chatter. When I don’t the people demand more MFH. So even though there is nothing in the way of sports or pop culture that I feel like commenting on, I decided to sit down and write something up real quick. If you are worried about losing your intense admiration for me, you may want to quit reading… now. For the rest of you, on with the meaningless nonsense:

Subway Chatter Tournament of Hotties runner up Carrie Underwood told Fox News she’s happy to be single right now. While she’s not averse to the idea of having a boyfriend, right now she just wants to focus on herself. She also took a shot at hated (at least by me) Cowboys quarterback Tony “Homo is just too easy” Romo and apparently some pretty boy from “Gossip Girl” by saying, “If I found something worth finding by now I would have made time for it, but right now I’m so busy I don’t need a boyfriend.” This is how Carrie feels now, but keep in mind, she hasn’t met a certain writer for a certain New York area sports blog. Perhaps the only one with the balls to openly root for the World Champion Boston Red Sox. I too happen to be single at the moment. I don’t mean to get all two of our female readers all excited, I’m just saying. Let’s just say I’m fairly confident that Ms. Underwood will be singing a different tune once I interview her leading up to the second annual Subway Chatter Tournament of Hotties. I may not be an NFL quarterback or on a hit TV show, but I am currently in seventh place in a very competitive fantasy baseball league. I also happened to write such riveting material as “What the hell are you,” “Various Thoughts to End Your Week” and of course the brilliance that was “MFH’s Derby Roundup.” If you’re not impressed by those kind of credentials then check your pulse because you’re probably dead.

Speaking of hot chicks (and nonesense), VH1 just aired their special announcing this year’s Maxim Hot 100. (Kind of a cheap rip off of the Subway Chatter Tournament of Hotties don’t you think?) I watched most of the special while writing the first two paragraphs of this trash and although I don’t disagree with most of the choices, there are a few that baffle me. Among those who made the cut: Tila Tequila, the tatted out chick from LA Ink, Christina Ricci, Drew Barrymore, one of the Olsen Twins (I don’t know which one, does it matter?) and Emily Watson. Now E Dub is cute, but isn’t she only like 16? She’s best known as the little girl from Harry Potter. Maybe I’m alone here, but it just seems a little scummy to me to put her on a hot 100 list. The others I simply don’t find attractive in the least (which gives me an idea for another piece for when I have nothing sports-related to write about, stay tuned). Britney Spears was also on the list, and quite high. Unless this was a repeat from seven years ago then that is absolutely absurd. Why not just put Bo Derrick on the list because thirty years ago she looked good in that one movie where she’s running along the beach? I’d do more research and actually get the name of the movie and make sure I spelled her name right but I feel it’s unnecessary for this poppycock (you like that word don’t you?) I’m spewing right now. The most egregious offense I saw was America Ferrera was on the Maxim Hot 100. How the hell do you put Ugly Betty on a hot 100 list? Word is next year Melanie Griffith is number 12. Among those who I did not see in the Hot 100: Alessandra Ambrosio, Adriana Lima, Sophia Bush, or my girl Carrie. I used to think Maxim was a respectable publication. I am now having serious doubts. I mean come on Maxim. Ugly Betty? Really?

If you want to comment, leave your “boos” below with the comment button. Want to disagree with me in private? Or is your name Carrie? Email me at mfh@subwaychatter.com