Lindsay Lohan’s a lesbo

And it must be true, because the Daily News says so:

Troubled pop star Lindsay Lohan and her “best friend” were photographed kissing in Cannes Wednesday night. Did we mention her best friend is a girl? Lohan, 21, and DJ Samantha Ronson, 30, who have denied reports that they’re an item, cuddled, kissed and held hands at a party on P. Diddy’s yacht, Britain’s Daily Mail reports. The pals have been plagued for nearly a year with rumors that they’re in an intimate relationship.

Star magazine leaked suggestive MySpace e-mails and text messages last year that were allegedly sent from the “Mean Girls” actress to Ronson. Here’s a sample: “Babe, if I don’t have you in my life then I should just go die. … I want to marry you.”

Is this really that shocking? I’m actually surprised it took this long for Lohan to start swinging the other way. She’s already been arrested for DWI, got addicted to coke, went to rehab, posed nude… she’s already a mega-slut and has probably racked up at least a handful of STDs, so really, what else was there left for her to do before she kills herself from a drug overdose at age 25? The LiLo lesbian sex tape will undoubtedly be her final act, which is fine, she can do that if she wants. But my big problem with that is why make everyone else suffer through seeing Sammy Ronson (Not Charlotte, her equally heinous, less sapphic-ally inclined sister. Always get those two mixed up. Yeah, I know who they are. Big woop, wanna fight about it?) engage in sex acts? I mean if you’re a sexy b*tch like Lohan, who can have any hot-as-hell, I-grew-up-on-the-wrong-side-of-the-tracks-and-have-major-issues-with-my-father-so-now-I’m-experimenting-with-lesbianism chick you want, why would you go ahead and link up with a disgusting, rat-faced hermit like Ronson??? Actually now that I think about it, that fits the Lohan mold too, so I shouldn’t be surprised by that either. I guess my only hope is this– Lindsay comes to her senses, pulls an Ellen DeGener-ate and does the humane thing by trading in her “Anne Heche” for a Portia de Rossi-type before she goes through with it. It’s the least she could do for all those poor adolescents who’ll shell out $9.95 a pop for the damn thing.