Chuck Wipple’s Derby Roundup: F#$k you, Colonel John!!!

Like MFH, I too was at my local OTB watching the Kentucky Derby on Saturday. It was shaping up to be a good day as I had played a triple box 20- Big Brown, 5- Eight Belles, and 10-Colonel John. The only problem with my bet was that Colonel John decided not to race on Saturday and messed up my shot at glory. I was quite pissed because in every other race he participated in, he hit the board (Meaning either he came first, second, or third for those of you who don’t know follow horse racing, aka our entire readership). (Editor’s note: Don’t feel bad. I had no idea the Derby was even being held this weekend until I flipped it on by accident after the Yankee game) It could have been a HUUUUUUGE day for me because I usually read both the Post and Daily News to pick my horses on Derby Saturday. However, on my way to OTB, I left my Post at home and it happened to mention the other two horses (Dennis of Cork, Recapture the Glory) that hit the board. If I had played a 2-dollar superfecta, I would have won 58,000 dollars roughly. Nevertheless, I learned an important lesson on Saturday: never bet on a horse that raced exclusively on polytrack (the new artificial surface for racetracks, again for everyone doesn’t give two craps about this stuff).