Sidney Crosby buys off refs; they come through in the clutch for him in Game 1

After being robbed of my childhood time-and-again by all those bullsh*t calls MJ got against the Knicks, I am not about to have my adult fan-life ruined by Gary Bettman’s elaborate conspiracy to shove Crosby down our throats by giving him all sorts of phantom calls in the hopes that everyone will fall head-over-heels in love with the NHL when he wins a championship. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking, “If Bettman wants fans, wouldn’t it make more sense then for the Rangers to win the Cup?” And if you’re also still wondering why no one gives two sh*ts about hockey, there’s your answer. The Blueshirts can’t let this go though. None of this “we take the high road/we win with class, we lose with class” garbage. I want everyone from Tom Renney on down to the equipment guy complaining their a$$es off about that Game 1 hose-job. Sure, we should’ve never let the Pens back in that game, but giving up game-winning goals becomes a lot easier when the opposition’s leading point-man has the linesmen in his back pocket. I don’t care what kind of ridiculous fines Bettman metes out, someone has to make an issue of this. And if no one cares? So what, at least we’ll go down fighting. Oh yeah, and the Yankees suck… alright, I’m done. Everyone enjoy your Friday night!