George, why didn’t you wear a condom???

Once again George Steinbrenner’s idiot son has proven that you don’t have to be smart to own a baseball team, you just need good… or I should say fortuitous… bloodlines. At this point in the season it makes ABSOLUTELY no sense to move Joba out of the ‘pen when 1) there is no suitable replacement for him, and 2) with his innings limit at 150, he wouldn’t be able to finish the season as a starter anyway. The guy I feel sorry for in all this is Brian Cashman, because you know he must’ve wanted to punch Hank in the mouth, kick him in the balls and banish him from Yankee Stadium yesterday, and instead he had to go into work and do Hank’s bidding all day long. Seriously, think about it– if we were to use Hank’s logic, then why the hell aren’t we moving Kyle Farnsworth into the rotation, what with his 100-mile-per-hour fastball and all (thank God Hank isn’t the one making these decisions because then New York would have a baseball version of the Knicks as well)? All of this controversy could have been averted if George used a condom the night Hank was conceived. Or better yet, Stewie Griffin could have zapped Hank while he was a little sperm trying to swim upstream in his Dad’s balls. It’s one thing to be a passionate owner, but Hank’s lust for sticking Joba in the rotation is completely irrational. If he wanted an ace so badly he could have gotten Johan Santana over winter instead of playing patsy and not forcing the deal. Now all of a sudden he wants to pound his chest? Please. Let’s just hope Hank’s wife (does he have one?) is on the pill so this doesn’t happen ever again.