Consiglieri makes his debut: His name is Floyd “I’ll do anything for money” Mayweather

Seeing Stacey Keibler’s picture (ass) in the 2008 Tournament of Hotties made me realize that not much (and rightfully so) attention is being paid to Floyd Mayweather’s fight at Wrestlemania XXIV against the Big Show (a la “Captain Insano” from The Waterboy) this Sunday. The Big Show is 7′ tall and like 450 pounds, and Mayweather is reminiscent of Mugsey Bogues (thanks to Monnie D. for reminding me what that little bastard’s name was), but more lean and a helluva lot more outspoken. Mayweather said he would cut the Big Show down to size, which is probably difficult to do since he’d need a step stool to come to the Big Show’s chin, but that’s neither here nor there.

The incredibly ridiculous thing is that wrestling is all staged and this schmuck is going to get paid a ridiculous amount of money to get thrown around like a rag doll. And yes, it is fake; I worked at the Pepsi Arena (Editor’s note: now named the Times Union Center, but really, who cares anyway?) when I went to SUNY Albany and these guys practice their near-misses and fake punches like nobody’s business hours before the show (and since I’m destroying dreams, the Easter Bunny is fake, and has nothing to do with the purpose behind Easter, but that is not a discussion for now; Unicorns don’t exist without being ’shroom-induced; but the Tooth Fairy? That b*tch is real. No one is making up a tooth-loving fetish to comfort their kids. It’s basically every parent’s job to scare the crap out of the little sh*ts with a story about someone sneaking into their rooms to steal decaying teeth while they sleep).

All I’m getting at is that Vince McMahon is the white Don King, but with slightly better hair. What this guy can get away with in terms of entertainment, name-dropping (he had a “feud” with Donald Trump which resulted in McMahon shaving his head…the Donald’s hair was on the line as well, but how do you shave something that is hot glued on and might come off whole with the first pass of the clippers?), and the distance he pushes the envelope with scantily clad vixens bouncing around a ring in lingerie is sheer genius. If you ask me, he should be teaching business classes at major universities…and he should build a grotto like Heff’s right next to WWE headquarters in Stamford, CT because that ride for me is doable, whereas the Playboy Mansion… well, I’ve only been able to visit it once, and it was while playing “Playboy: The Mansion” on PS2.