My bracket looks like crap, how ’bout yours?

So as you stare at your bracket today, trying to figure out why you didn’t go with your gut because then you’d have the only perfect bracket in America, just think– it could be worse. You could be…

1) Virginia Tech: while the Hokies toil in the NIT, Stephen Curry has single-handedly shot the no-name Davidson Wildcats into the Sweet 16. For those of you who don’t know the backstory by now (which is pretty much impossible considering Jim Nance and Billy Packer have brought it up 938927389743 times during the Tournament), Curry’s dad, Dell, graduated from Va-Tech and went on to have a pretty solid NBA career. Well Dell’s kid, as you are all aware, isn’t too shabby himself, but VT didn’t offer him a scholarship. Now I know that he was 5′11″ coming out of high school and all (he’s now 6′3″), but still, it’s not like Tech’s churning out blue chippers. I’m pretty sure they could’ve found a spot for him on their roster or, at the very least, they could’ve extended some common courtesy to Dell and let his kid be the 12th man. I mean come on, if a guy makes it to the NBA, isn’t it just understood that his kid is going to be offered a scholarship by his dad’s alma mater no matter how good or bad he is? In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s the 28th amendment or something. Someone needs to lose their job over this because after watching Curry drop 70-points in two games, it’s pretty obvious this isn’t just a minor oversight– it’s a monumental error in judgment that borders on the absurd. Just think about it: imagine what Curry could be doing with an ACC-caliber supporting cast? Actually, I may want to rethink that…

2) Duke: I know, I know, the Duke loss was great, if, for no other reason, than to see Greg Paulus and the rest of the cast from Basketball Diaries have those smug looks smacked off their faces… but I still feel cheated. One of these days I want to know, once and for all, if that thing on Mike Krzyzewski’s head is the ridiculous looking toupee we all suspect it is. Disappointingly, I think it’s his own hair only because I don’t know why anyone would subject themselves to wearing something so heinous. Then again, Marv Albert’s been committing the same crime against himself for years, so what do I know?

3. The guy(s) trailing a chick/multiple chicks, in their pool(s): If being castrated is the worst thing that could happen to a guy, this is a close second. Ok, so I’m exaggerating a bit, but wow, the fallout from this scenario is devastating. As if chicks needed anything else to beat us over the head with, demonstrating superiority in an area that we typically exercise a veritable monopoly over — sports — is the ultimate tool of humiliation. At some point today you’ll be in the office or out getting drinks with fellow pool-mates, lamenting your crappy picks, when all-of-a-sudden the girl who’s winning the pool will jump in with some inane garbage that you know she’s just regurgitating from the 11PM Sports Center to explain why she picked a center-less Villanova squad to crack the Sweet 16. You know full-well the only reason she had ‘Nova getting this far is because her college roommate’s-best-friend’s-sister used to hook up with a guy who went to school there, but you can’t say sh*t because you’ll just look like a petty, chauvanistic asshole if you do. And if this chick happens to be your GF or wife, goodluck ever wearing the pants again in that relationship.

Alright, well hopefully not too many of you fell into that last category. If you did, here’s a little something that should have you feeling better in no time.