It’s Monday, March 17, and I am feverishly at work for Subway Chatter, trying to make some very tough choices. The tournament begins on Thursday and our regular readers (not to mention our ed-in-chief) will be extremely disappointed if I don’t get this completely filled out before I leave for Las Vegas on Wednesday. So who do I choose in this region? I haven’t faced a decision this difficult since my favorite pizza place began serving chicken parm pizza that looked equally as tasty as the delicious buffalo chicken pizza.
Was I attempting to fill out an NCAA basketball tournament bracket? Not a chance. I, MFH, was acting as the entire selection committee for the inaugural Subway Chatter Tournament of Hotties. Honestly, I don’t think I did quite as good a job as the men’s tournament selection committee. (If you think Arizona State got snubbed, you’re an idiot. If you have an RPI of 88 and a strength of schedule of 303 and still don’t win 20 games, you shouldn’t even sniff the NCAA tournament.) I never realized just how many beautiful women there were in the public eye. After finally narrowing the field down to 65, all the while eliminating some smoking hot ladies, I then had to seed each region. Let me tell you, it is a damn tough job studying photo after photo of gorgeous women for two straight nights, but I made a promise that I would get it done so I persevered. After Monnie D. added a few omitted hotties, adjusted some of the rankings, and threw it all online for your viewing pleasure, the finished product is a fine collection of 65 (now 64 after Penelope Cruz knocked off Isla Fisher in the play-in) stunning beauties, all of whom I’d do anything to date, but none of whom would give me the time of day. You may disagree with some tourney participants and you may be angry about some snubs, so please let me hear about them in the comments section. This is the only contribution I’ll ever make to SC about which your dissenting comments will not be met with ridicule (just don’t tell me Emanuelle Chriqui doesn’t belong or I will find you and smack some serious sense into you). I understand I may have made some errors and omissions, but I am only human, and after five hours of starring at revealing photos of women I could never have (for work, of course), I had difficulty deciphering the 9.7s from the 9.8s.
And now it is YOUR turn to do the studying and YOUR turn to do the rating. Coinciding with the NCAA tournament is our Tournament of Hotties, where you, the loyal readers of Subway Chatter, will be casting your vote for who moves on in each round until. YOU decide who advances to the Sexy 16. YOU decide who proceeds to the Erection 8. YOU decide who makes up the Foxy 4. YOU…get the point. So help us crown the hottest of the hot, and maybe we’ll get the winner to join Monnie D. and I when we finally do our first pod cast.
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