The Giants are starring in some sort of parade today, and the Pats… are getting busted for marijuana possession. With that fitting juxtaposition, it’s time to tie a nice little bow around Supe XLII and figure out what all the Giants’ crazy plays and the Pats’ missed opportunities meant.
First off, Tom Brady– and the Patriots collectively as a team– were up against more pressure than a drunk sorority pledge; Brady was facing it in a literal sense (the Giants’ non-stop pass rush), while the team was dealing with the burden of perfection. Brady has to get some props for hanging in there and leading what should have been the game winning drive. His numbers may not show it, but for the kind of heat the G-men were bringing, Brady proved again why he is the best big-game QB in the league. The rest of his teammates– particularly those on defense? Let’s just say there were certain guys hanging their heads more than others in the Patriots’ locker room after the game. For the first time it looked like the enormity of the situation got the best of the Pats, especially (duh-duh-duh) Ellis Hobbs. Everyone was doing crazy things– Junior Seau apparently paid homage to fashion week by rocking one of those punk rocker military caps in the pre-game montage. Even Lord Hoodie went all bizzaro on us and wore a red hoodie with perfectly seamed sleeves. That’s just what pressure will do to a guy.
File this in the “duh” category, but Eli Manning won’t have to hear the name “Ben Roethlisberger” anytime soon. I’m pretty sure he still has no idea what happened on that 35-yarder to David Tyree, but it doesn’t matter. It’s now arguably the greatest play in NFL history and the guy shouldn’t have to answer another question about his mental makeup/ability/etc. again… until the Giants go 8-8 and miss the playoffs next year (not saying that’ll happen, but just saying). You have to wonder though– how many times did, “F%#k you,” cross Eli’s mind when fans were screaming his name during the parade today?
Sticking with the Giants, Tom Coughlin is getting all the credit in the world for this improbable run and there’s no denying that he deserves a ton of it, but let’s get something straight here– if Steve Spagnuolo doesn’t convince Coughlin to switch over to an all-out blitz scheme after the Cowboys and Packers dropped a deuce on them in the first two weeks, no one’s talking about Coughlin’s personality makeover. Instead he’s on the scrap heap looking for work back in the college ranks or with the Falcons (and honestly, is there really a difference between the two?).
And while Coughlin secured his job status for the foreseeable future, the Patriots will probably put Rodney Harrison out to pasture. The loss can’t be blamed solely on Harrison, but he spent the entire season getting beat on plays a double-amputee could make and then for good measure, on the biggest play of the season, he cradled Tyree to the ground just to make sure the guy had enough of a cushion to hang onto the ball. The Harrison of old would’ve decapitated Tyree, and while Giants fans everywhere would be screaming about what a dirty player he is, the Patriots would be hoisting trophy numero quatro.
The Super Bowl confirmed the obvious for us though– the whole celebrity girlfriend thing just isn’t good for business. I liked the Golden Boy a whole lot more when he was picking up random co-eds at Waterworks (famous ocean-side bar in Boston for those of you who don’t know) and the Pats were winning Super Bowls. Since he knocked up Bridget Moynahan and tossed her overboard for Giselle, the Pats have experienced one disappointing playoff loss after another. Seriously dude, if Victoria Secret can dump her, so can you. And if you’re worried that she might end up with some douchebag, don’t worry– I’ll be happy to take her off your hands. Anything for the team, right?
One final random thought– why aren’t the Patriots’ cheerleaders called the “Beli-chicks”? I know Lord Hoodie probably put the kabash on this idea a while ago, but it had to come up at least a handful of times in an organizational meeting or two, right?
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