So what would you say if I were to tell you that the Yanks are on the verge of inking one of the League’s premier secondbasemen– a guy with a .314 career batting average who is also coming off a year in which he tallied career highs in home runs (19) and RBIs (97)? “No way, Monnie D., that’s some BS right there.” Well, that’s exactly what’s about to happen as Robinson Cano is ready to sign on the dotted line of a 4-year, $30 million deal. Now this isn’t the kind of spending I was talking about yesterday, but I’ll give credit where credit is due: locking up Robbie Cano for the foreseeable future at a bargain rate is some of the best money the Yanks have spent in a looooooong time.

The Yankees won another championship this year– the 2007 payroll title!!! In fact, the Yanks set MLB’s payroll record, coming in at a cool $218.3 million. Now I’ve become accustomed to– no, even welcoming of– the Yanks’ willingness to blow money like an Orange County housewife. But recently Hank Steinbrenner suggested that the Bombers have turned over a new fiscally responsible leaf, and that Johan Santana is now unobtainable because of it. Well Hank, after watching your father squander all the money I shelled out on Yankee tickets/gear to purchase a gaudy handbag (Carl Pavano), a boob job (Roger Clemens), and botox injections (I’ll say Jason Giambi here, but Clemens would work too), it’s time to spend some loot FOR ME. The Yanks are looking a little hagard these days and could use some nipping and tucking. Supposedly this Santana guy is pretty good with his hands and I’m thinking he’s more than capable of reversing all this middle-agedness. So bring him down to Tampa, get some work done, and then hopefully this October the Yanks will finally have something to show for all the loot they’ve been burning in the Stadium’s fireplace these last few years.

Welcome to the new and improved Subway Chatter. Isn’t it beautiful? Now instead of not emailing us, you can post a comment at the bottom of the story you take issue with and your comment will be visible to all three SC readers. Be aware, however, that so will be our retort that rips into you, attacking your competence and exposing you for the ignorant ass that you are. Want to write something, but unsure of what might be appropriate? Here are a few suggestions to get you started: “MFH, you were so right about the Giants defense, I had never thought of it that way, thank you for your amazing insight,” or, “MFH, thanks for the NFL gambling picks, because of you I made a fortune, I’ll send you your 15% immediately,” or “MFH you are such a genius,” or “MFH, I love you, you sexy beast, any woman would be so lucky to have you” (if you happen to be a female). If you’d like to send something for our eyes only, such as date requests, marriage proposals, booty calls, etc, we’ll still have our email addresses. For you newbies, mine is mfh@subwaychatter.com. We’ve trimmed down the number of contributors and therefore, the number of articles each week, which means that you won’t have to dig as deep to find the latest piece by your favorite writer. That’s right, all of my stuff will be easily found, pondered, and deservingly praised using that nifty little comment button on the bottom of the article. Another new addition will be a (weekly?) podcast starring Monnie D and MFH. It’s something we’ve discussed doing for a while and you’ll finally be treated to the first edition this weekend, so be on the lookout for that gem.

Something else to be anxiously awaiting is my quick Super Bowl preview next week, in which I will provide my final NFL gambling pick of the season. I’ve been running hot down the stretch, going 8-2 against the spread in the playoffs. I haven’t done the final calculations, but I believe the Super Bowl bet will determine whether I end the season up or down. With the way things have been going for me you’d be well advised to place some of your own hard-earned money behind my pick.

I was planning on running through a recap of that amazing Giants victory over the Packers in the NFC Championship game, but I think I’ll save that for the podcast. I will just say one thing for now: Lawrence Tynes owes Corey Webster a watch or something. If Corey Webster doesn’t pick off that ball in overtime (wait, did I just write, “Corey Webster” and “pick off” in the same sentence, I never thought I’d be able to do that), giving Tynes a chance at redemption, then Tynes is the goat of all goats in recent Giant history for missing two easy field goals, either of which would have sent the Giants to the Super Bowl had it gone in. I think this is best expressed in my last two texts to my friend Grizzly Man during the game:

“Can we hang Tynes?”

“SUPER BOWL!”

Finally, Subway Chatter would like to wish our friend Rosie a happy birthday. Let’s celebrate for real this weekend you pansy.